Mandatory Precepts Part 3

The Noble Crusade, Revisited

Before moving on from WWII, it’s worth defining the root myth that all the sub-narratives fit into. For Americans, it went something like this:

The Germans have always been bloodthirsty warmongers trying to take over the whole world. Then Satan himself manifested on earth as a short, petulant maniac with a funny mustache, a mescaline addiction and, later, Parkinson’s Disease. He magically transformed every German into a goose-stepping Nazi. Those barbaric kraut-eating Huns went along with Satan’s plan for no other reason than to exterminate Jews.

And the Nazis were right wing! Nevermind that “Nazi” was an abbreviation for “National Socialist German Workers’ Party” (in German). Nevermind that the National Socialists were anti-capitalist. Nevermind that the Nazi government seized absolute control over industry and every aspect of the economy. Nevermind that they were in lockstep with Communists on everything from civilian disarmament to state-controlled compulsory education; from speech to the press to the individual vs. the collective; etc. etc. etc. Hitler was a bad guy, therefore he was right-wing. Just ask your left-wing teachers/professors/“journalists”/Facebook junkies—they’ll tell ya.

Anyway, the Nazis threatened to exterminate democracy and all its adherents—including those poor freedom-loving Soviets. Of course the resolute, heroic Churchill defied the Nazi onslaught, having absolutely no choice but to keep fighting if he was to preserve “democracy.” (Just in case you thought the USA was a constitutional republic…NO! Lots of people with microphones and fat paychecks refer to it as a democracy, therefore that’s what it is.)

Thanks to the wisdom of FDR, America embarked on a righteous crusade to help our great freedom-loving ally, Stalin, rescue democracy. We fought to “set the world free” and establish “peace ever after.” Just listen to some of the songs from the time.

And sure enough: once that little mustached devil was exorcised from Europe, the world has been nothing but peace, freedom, sunshine and puppies ever since.

We have a wonderful global organization called the United Nations that justly and competently keeps the peace around the world. We have a cobweb of treaties, agreements and policies that have transferred America’s wealth to altruistic international bankers and humanitarian regimes like Red China. All those nasty American factories and shipyards (which were what overwhelmed the Axis) have been permanently shut down, putting us in the equitable position of relying on our enemies for manufactured goods should we have to fight the next world war which the “Biden Administration” has been trying to provoke.

To the benefit of all humanity, America has become unexceptional. The astronomical expenditures on “education” have really paid off over the last few generations—just look at how sharp and proficient young people are at reading, writing, math, and critical thinking! And now that Christianity has been reduced to a marginalized subculture, just look at all the manifold societal benefits we enjoy!

Sure, we can’t leave our doors unlocked at night anymore, women and children are not safe to walk through the neighborhood alone (not that we can define what a woman is, now) and we can be arrested for exercising rights that were once protected by the Constitution, but at least children can be legally executed if they’re inconvenient, and sexual degeneracy is rammed down our throat 24/7.

Aren’t you glad that Americans fought and died so we could inherit this Utopian dream? They saved the world for communism democracy. If they hadn’t, we’d all be speaking Germanese!

To be continued…