No, You Don't "Just Want Good Stories."

Be Careful What You Wish For

I’m gonna lead with a little truth grenade Nonsense-Free Editor hurled at the beginning of a video. She called it “Spiritual Boomerism” and I’ve been running into it for most of my life, but she defines and illustrates it deftly. It has to do with self-appointed experts insisting that long-extinct paradigms (if they ever truly did exist) are still in effect.

You can run into “spiritual boomerisms” (I think I’ll call them anachronistic precepts) pertaining to any topic. For example, I am acquainted with a few individuals, of a dark complexion and foreign allegiance, who will inject race into every discussion, then insist that America writ large today is identical to the Jim Crow South. It is only because of their inherent superiority that these acquaintances were raised with affluence and privilege which was alien to my experience. Furthermore, it was because of their oppression (a racial slur directed at one of them outside a convenience store, for instance) that they deserved the opportunities, tuition assistance, hiring preferences, and promotion, here in evil ol’ racist America, that I never had access to. They’ve preached this narrative repeatedly, while expecting to be taken seriously.

There are many anachronistic precepts still being passed around regarding the book biz. You may have encountered somebody who still believes that to be published (the “correct” way), you still need a literary agent. Those same Luddites tend to also believe that any book not published by the NYPC (New York Publishing Cartel) is illegitimate. Or that “award winning” books are necessarily of high quality.

Nonsense-Free Editor identifies a specific anachronistic precept in this purvue: that white heterosexual men are not only NOT discriminated against by the NYPC, but still, in fact, dominate traditional publishing. Furthermore, that all the workings thereof are skewed in our favor, while the deck is stacked against womyn.

It’s not just feminists with this Bizarro-World delusion—it’s a one-size-fits-all narrative for every NPC under the rainbow-colored woketard umbrella.

Unfortunately, systemic bigotry doesn’t apply only to white heterosexual male writers, but to stories such second-class citizens would like to read. You must be able to check the diversity boxes before the gatekeepers will consider reading your query letter, of course. But if you make it past that obstacle, your manuscript must pass the Current Year Quota of Pozz to advance any further. It must cater to a leftist female or LGBT audience, with all the corresponding tropes and contrivances.

And while this diseased pap is peddled and promoted from platforms both big and small, most indie/newpub/Iron Age voices protest only with some version of this argument: “We just want good stories!”

Not long after migrating to Substack, I wrote about the folly of refusing to put up a fight in the culture war.

“But Hank, mine is the art of fighting without fighting.”

Uh, no. This is not Enter the Dragon and you are not Bruce Lee. You’re more like 1938 Czechoslovakia.

“It takes two sides to fight” is another anachronistic precept. It’s wrapped up in Utopian pacifist dogma along with “the one who walks away is the bigger man.”

I’m not sure that cliche was ever true; but really, I couldn’t care less who thinks who is the bigger man. I want to live in a free country that doesn’t spit in the face of God; where boys can be raised to value strength, courage, honesty and justice; and are encouraged to aspire to manhood. Where masculinity is not condemned as “toxic.” Where the legal system protects American citizens, instead of pedophiles, foreign invaders, and criminals. Grant me that and the Twitterati, my First Grade teacher, the average Youtube podcaster and his boyfriend can call me the smaller man as often as they like, for the rest of their lives.

You just want good stories? Do you also believe the answer to the 2nd Amendment debate is teaching communist revolutionaries misguided libruls how to shoot?

Time to let go of another anachronistic precept: we’re not up against “well-meaning” or “misguided libruls.” These people hate you and if they could obliterate you from existence with a Thanos snap, they wouldn’t hesitate. But most would prefer torturing you to death, in case you’ve already forgotten what’s been happening for the last decade. There’s nothing “liberal” about them.

Why wish that our enemies will become better propagandists?

Despite what the Current Year output of Hollywood and tradpub suggests, tyrannical scum can be skilled and talented, too.

You understand that politics is downstream from culture. Not just the entertainment industry, but America itself (and all the West, for that matter) is in the mess it’s in because skilled, talented storytellers have been herding our society to this point for generations.

Narratives can shape public opinion. Control what people believe and you control their vote. You can use that to drive society to a pozzed dystopia wherein votes no longer mean anything.

Skilled, talented cultural saboteurs in the past herded us toward national suicide with slick narratives—“good stories”—in books, movies, videogames, but also in “news reports” and classroom lessons. Thank God their present level of derangement caused that skill to perish.

“Just tell us good stories” = “become more effective at brainwashing the masses.”

Most of them have never read an entire book. They waited until the movie came out.

We’ve finally got one advantage in this culture war: an inept enemy who is repulsive, hamfisted, incapable of originality, and artistically bankrupt.

We could accomplish a lot with USAID revenue streams, Establishment backing, and legions of federal judges to run interference for us, but that’s never gonna happen. I’ll therefore take what advantage I can get.

My sole advantage is that I can tell a lot better stories than the enemy can. I’m not gonna waste one second wishing they could close that competence gap.

That’s right: I don’t want communists and perverts telling better stories. Let their sick delusions lead them into ever-deepening incompetence. They’ve already ruined our beloved icons and mythologies. May they also burn down the very pedestal they stand upon.